Before we start, I need to state that this article is aimed exclusively at females. I acknowledge that male sexual trauma, abuse, and rape occur and that the victims of such behavior are equally as deserving of healing and support as women and girls. However, as I am female, and as I wish to share with you some of my thoughts and experiences, I have limited myself to the topic of healing from sexual abuse in females.
At the heart of any sexual trauma is the concept of the loss of innocence, which is what makes this kind of experience so very painful and far reaching. We are not talking solely about the use and abuse of a girl’s body when we consider the harm that this kind of treatment causes.
Consider how female infants are treated in our society. From birth onwards, a female child is far more likely to be poked, prodded, handled, and physically touched than a male child. Most of the time, this behavior has no malice or ulterior motive behind it, but, nevertheless, the message that is received by our energy fields is that it is OK for others to enter them without permission. In other words, female children have far fewer personal boundaries than males. The impact on us as girls and women is both profound and damaging. We come to accept, and to expect, our personal space to be fair game for anyone who chooses to enter it. In many instances, this message is internalized at such an early age that we do not know any other way of being. We do not realize that we are autonomous, and therefore we do not behave in a way that will protect the integrity of our energy field, or our emotions.
My Own Experience
The loss of my innocence happened at the age of just six years. My body was not violated or physically altered at this time, but I was subjected to intense verbal and emotional abuse, all of a sexual nature, to the extent that I was traumatized mentally and emotionally by the experience. I wanted to share this information with you for one reason only, and that is to reassure you that your journey is unique to you, and that the trauma you may have suffered will have many different manifestations, all equally as valid as the next person’s.
The Effects
The insidious nature of sexual abuse lies in the fact that, just like the infant female who does not “know” that she has an energetic boundary, as females, we are almost always likely to accept the situation as “normal” and also likely to take the blame upon ourselves for the consequent feelings, emotions, and behaviors that this type of incident leads us into.
Let me say, right now, that if even a tiny part of this description is striking a chord with you, you are most definitely not to blame. Whatever you have done, or not done, as a result of sexual violation, it is not your fault. Whatever anyone says to you, however many explanations or excuses they make, it is not your fault.
Your experience is unique to you. Some women become withdrawn and isolated, unable to form relationships with men because of a deep-seated, and totally understandable, fear of being hurt. They find it impossible to trust another person with their feelings and will go to great lengths to avoid any situation that requires intimacy.
Others react differently, and become promiscuous, lacking filters and discernment. They may seek out many sexual partners and allow all kinds of liberties to be taken with their bodies and minds. This kind of behavior is also understandable when we consider that the message that was sent during the initial sexual trauma was that your physical and emotional boundaries are non-existent, and if others do not value and respect you, why would you value and respect yourself? All of this, and many other manifestations of the damage done to you, is totally understandable, and it is not your fault.
Healing and Moving Forward
On a more positive note, I want to reassure you that everything you need to heal from any form of sexual abuse or trauma is within you. The resources you will draw upon already exist in your aura and your unconscious mind. You hold the key to your healing, and you have the power to change absolutely anything for the better.
The beauty (or one of the beauties) of Reiki Healing is that time does not matter. The events that you are going to work on are in the past, yes, but their effects are very much in the present. With your strength and courage, you are going to make a mockery of the platitude that “you can’t change the past, what is done is done and cannot be undone.” This is not true! The harmful, negative, effects of past experiences can be undone when we clear away the energy that is stuck in our etheric bodies and allow new energies to enter instead.
You are the warrior, and you are the hero. You can set new boundaries that will never be violated. You can create new “memories” for the cells of your body that, up until now, have been holding onto old feelings and vibrations. Exciting, huh? Believe me, it is true. When you allow the old energies to be cleared away, you also let go of the hurt and pain attached to them. Your trauma may be hidden deep within you. You may well have surrounded it with so many barriers and energetic layers that it will take some time to surface. Do not worry. With patience and a willingness to heal, we can uncover the negative, damaging frequencies and bring them into the light to be healed, repaired, and made whole again. The Universal Reiki Healing of Energy of our benevolent cosmos is already there, waiting for you to begin drawing upon its power.