The opposite of fear is love and Love is NOT JUST a four-letter word. The number of poems, songs, and novels written about love, inspired by love, dedicated to loved ones and countless other instances of love as perceived by humans throughout the ages might make us think we know all about love.
Have you formulated your own definition of love? How often do you use the word in your conversations and interactions with others? Do you love a particular food? A pet? A place?
We all use the word frequently I’m sure, and if you ask somebody what they think the opposite of love is, chances are they will say, without really thinking, “hate.” This is not true. To hate something, you have to have invested some energy into it in the first place. It is certainly not uncommon to find that people claim to both love and hate someone or something at the same time. In fact, the true opposite of love is fear. With enough love, it is possible to overcome fear, to render it powerless, and to reclaim your own power in the world.
The Seven Kinds of Human Love
According to the Ancient Greeks, and to Aristotle in particular, there are seven kinds of human love:
1 Eros: romantic, passionate love.
Eros is of course the Greek god of love and it is from this root that we get the word “erotic”. Eros is lust, passion, and pleasure. It involves an appreciation of your own and another’s physical form, beauty, and attractiveness. It also describes the kind of obsessional behavior associated with a deep infatuation of one person with another. This kind of love does not last, at least not in its initial, extreme form. Sometimes it will simply die away, other times it can settle down into a much more lasting version of itself as couples grow older together.
2 Philia: Friendship, intimacy, authenticity of feelings.
Philia is characterized by a deep, authentic knowing of one person to another. It is a very encouraging manifestation of true love, in which your soul seems to be bound to the soul of another. Philia is kind, compassionate, focused on giving rather than receiving. It is the kind of love that true friendship is based on and consists of genuine goodwill, wanting the best for another person, and a true soul connection. It is all powerful, as it is based in choice, rather than kinship.
3 Ludus: Playful, flirtatious love.
This kind of love is familiar to most people and associated closely with young love, or having a “crush” on someone and acting upon it. Ludus is about having fun, and this varies from person to person. It could be associated with a fling, an affair, or with casual, exciting liaisons.
4. Storge: familial, unconditional love
Storge is protective in nature and is based on family connections and kinship. You may quite easily love your sibling or child although there are probably times when you don’t truly like them very much! The unconditional nature of this love can sometimes be seen as a one-way transaction and storge can also be applied to love of one’s country or place of birth.
5. Philautia: Self-love
Although love of self is not a new concept, we do tend to be looking at this type of love in a more positive and healthy way these days. Narcissism is self-love at its most destructive, but a genuine love of the self is a healthy and positive feeling, especially if it leads to self-care and nurturing of our bodies and minds. Philautia means being Self-full rather than selfish. It is also, strangely, quite a difficult concept for many people to embrace.
6. Pragma: Commitment, companionship.
Pragma is a lasting love rooted in wanting to build a solid base of understanding and compassion for either a group of people or for just one individual. It is about acting in the best interests of everyone concerned. Pragma means cherishing, respecting, and honoring others, learning to compromise, and adapting our behaviors and thoughts as necessary to accommodate the needs of others.
7 Agape: Universal, Empathic, Divine.
Arguably the most powerful force for love there is, agape is inclusive and all-encompassing. It is characterized by a sense of wonder and appreciation for all there is, including people, nature, animals, and plants, as well as a genuine feeling of love for humanity. It is sometimes connected to altruism as it involves caring for and loving others without any expectation of reciprocity. It is the basis for building strong communities that work for the benefit of all.
Universal Energy and Power of Divine Love
The phrase “Universal Energy” is often applied to the energies channeled by healers in therapies such as Reiki. It is the Om energy that the Chinese refer to as “Chi” and Yogis call “prana”. It is palpable and can be felt by everyone; it is not elitist or specific to those who train hard or have a gift. This Universal Energy is pure love and it can truly change lives or situations as long as it is accepted.
To experience the force of this love you simply need to remain open to the possibility that it is there, it is good, and it wants to enter your body or auric field. Meditation is an excellent way to start to familiarize yourself with the power of this love. In meditation, we intend to become calm, accepting, and non-judgmental in our outlook. This extends to our own thoughts as well as to the world around us. Once we let go of expectations we are far more receptive to the healing forces of this energy, which is in effect pure love. Many people refer to this as Divine love, but you do not need to subscribe to any particular faith or system of belief to appreciate and experience it. This love is truly unconditional, and it is a difficult concept for many of us to grasp. Because our experiences of love, in many of its forms, are almost always rooted in the human world, we tend to compare Divine love with human love, and of course, we have all had experiences that leave us feeling betrayed or ill-used by a loved one.
Two people simply cannot vow or promise to love each other forever. It is not possible simply because we have no way of knowing how we may feel in the future. Our love for another can be destroyed by their behavior or their words.
Unconditional human love, therefore, has no earthly counterpart and requires an act of faith on our part. We need to accept that Divine love does not need a reason to love us; it does not depend on our behavior or our personality. We may have difficulty accepting that we actually deserve this kind of love and indeed the truth is that we do not need to deserve it. It is ours by right, simply because we are alive. All that is needed is for us to accept the love that is all around us with gratitude and a sense of wonder. It is from this place that miracles can and do happen.
How do You Experience Love?
If you ask anyone if they would like more love in their lives the answer will almost always be “yes”. But what do we truly mean when we say we want to love and be loved? In terms of human behavior, the answers will be fairly consistent and will probably refer to passion, unconditional love for our children, respect and trust from a partner, and so on. It may surprise you to know that you can only ever feel the power of true love when you have learned to love yourself.
Let’s return to number 5 in Aristotle’s list: Philautia. Truly loving yourself is very hard work. You must put your needs first, give your body what it needs to be truly healthy, nurture and protect your mental health so that it is in top condition, learn how to serve others with a truly open heart and no expectation of reciprocation, and many more small, daily actions that will all feed into your wellbeing.
True self-love means looking after your whole self, at all times. You cannot serve from an empty cup! Fill your cup to overflowing with kindness, joy, energy, and compassion and there will be enough for both yourself and others.
Many people struggle with this concept and see it as being “selfish”. It is not selfish, it is self-full and it is vital in the quest for true happiness, to the benefit of everyone concerned.
Divine or Angelic Love
Whilst it is possible to achieve true Philautia without any reference to worlds beyond this one, it is much easier if you can enlist the help of your guides, angels, or Higher Power. Let go of any negative thoughts or judgments that you may have picked up over the course of your life with regard both to yourself and the “correct” way to worship. Starting with a truly blank slate is much more productive and liberating than trying to unravel or deal with burdens that are no longer yours to carry.
Meditation is a wonderful way to connect with the myriad forces for good that surround us all at all times. Many people find that using Angel or Oracle cards helps them to focus more precisely on the messages they receive. There are many decks to choose from, most of them accompanied by the most beautiful artwork that is pure pleasure to work with them. From Faeries to Flowers, Angels, Mermaids, or sacred geometrical shapes there is bound to be a deck that calls to you.
If you establish a daily habit of connecting with the Universe you will soon come to realize just how loved you are.
Final Thoughts
Love is real. If you are skeptical, disappointed, uncertain, or feeling miserable and incomplete, allow yourself to feel the power of the force of love by performing this simple exercise every day for at least a week:
Sit or lie in a comfortable position and take several long, slow, easy breaths, right down into your lower abdomen. Allow your body to soften, to drop down, and to let go of all rigidity.
Visualize yourself wrapped in a cocoon of pure golden threads, light and airy as gossamer. With every in-breath take in Love. On the out-breath breathe out Peace. Say the words softly to yourself as you do this and visualize your cocoon gaining solidity with every exhalation. You are now surrounded by Love and Peace. Nothing but Love and Peace can enter your space. You do not need to take any further action. You are safe, you are loved, and loving towards yourself and the world.
Slowly return to the room you are in, bringing with you the Love and Peace that are yours by right.
Namaste
